9月17日
Is it worth it to lose our innocence in order to lose our illusions? How often do I surprise myself longingly staring back at my childhood memories and yearning for that carefree, blissful ignorance. The future was something I let the adults worry about, and I only lived for the moment. But then, as time went by, my awareness of that cruel world I lived in assailed my budding intellect and chipped away at my innocence until none was left. Then stroke the realization that my life is intrisincally meaningless and devoid of sense, since it will fatally (pardon the pun) end in death. At first, it was a shock, and I flundered around grasping at anything to grant me a sensible perspective, a worldview that held together and had a purpose (or in which I, at least, had a purpose). I eventually came to terms with the unreasonable silence of existence in the face of my relentlessly probing mind. But if existence has no meaning, no sense, no purpose, won't any sense and meaning and purpose I give my own life be a self-deceiving scheme to get through it? Then why live? Well, why not?! I rebel against that nonsensical, illogical existence, and watch me get the most out of it! And I'll do my best so that my brethren can get the most out of existence themselves. Hopefully, if we all work together towards the same goals, we just might get to a point where we'll all live for the moment in the carefree, blissful knowledge that our existence is insignificant.
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